Wednesday, November 27, 2013

For Annie

November 24, 2013
 Yesterday afternoon I sat on my bed and listened to my sister’s voice. She left a message and her voice was full of emotion and tears.  Her words dropped me to my stomach and I lay there after the message was over and I cried, those kind of tears that come with lots of aching things. I lay there for a while and then I called her back.  She told me the most amazing story I have heard in a long time. We both cried together because she knows the cost and I live it every day; we all do here at my house. She told me how Adam was leaving and how the boys wanted to go with him. She said that the twins were both trying to get in the truck. Somehow in the rush and the kids running and parents assuming everyone was out of the way Adam backed out of the driveway. Drew had hopped on the back of the truck and when Adam backed up Drew fell off and the truck rolled over him. Annie heard him scream. Adam felt the bump. Sounds and things they will never forget. Drew lay on the road. They ran and they went to their boy who lay on the ground, legs twisted. Annie said “when I heard him scream I knew he wasn’t dead.” They called 911. They waited for the sound of sirens. They prayed and Annie cried. They took him by ambulance and at the hospital they found no broken bones. There was gravel and little rocks in his ankles. There is skin torn off. They witnessed a brave little boy who told the doctors he didn’t want any shots of pain medicine. He said he would “deal” with the pain rather than have a shot. Drew took the tweezers and picked out the rocks. He is one of the bravest boys I know. Adam and Annie rejoiced there at the hospital and all of us close and far away breathed collective breathes of relieved air when we heard that his injuries are not bad at all compared to what they could be. I think angels were there. I know they were. I think that some big old guardian angels held that truck up so the weight of it would not press down on his little body. I think they held it up so we could all witness a miracle. I know that God knows how much we sometimes need to see goodness and to feel it in our little corner of the world. I think my sister knows today how big He is and I am glad. Sometimes in the craziness of life we lose sight of that.        
       After she hung up the phone I lay looking up at the ceiling remembering another little boy who also lay on the road. I remembered the horror of the sound of the words I heard.  She said they cut off his jeans and all she could think about was me and how my heart handled it. The cutting off of his jeans was her undoing. It was mine too. I cried again, alone on the bed with part of my heart still not handling it and part of my heart dancing because I was so so glad for her. I was so so glad she doesn’t know today what death is, at least not this kind. I am so very thankful today that Annie has not had to join me in this group of grieving moms who wander here trying to find a heart that can kind of handle it. I am thankful that Drew is only sore today and that he will run again and grow. I am thankful that we are not driving north today, while I would be weeping hot tears because I know what sorrow is and I would be sad that they would have to know what grief is and to live with the empty places we spend a life time trying to fill. I am thankful that I can see today where my boy is and that his little body is not on the side of the road anymore. I am thankful for Heaven and for small boys with big boots who wave to me through the gloom of this life. I think that with this season of thankfulness Annie can feel it, what being truly thankful is, because I can and she is my sister.  I think she saw a glimpse yesterday of what I live with and how much we have had to overcome.  I love her, this little sister of mine. I am getting to know her and I like who she is and she knows what mother love is, like I do. We are all thankful today for life and gifts and miracles and boys who make our hearts beat fast and scare us and how fiercely we love them.
Psalm 100:1-5  Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth. Worship the LORD with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the LORD is God. It is He who made us, and we are His; we are His people, the sheep of His pasture. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. For the LORD is good and His love endures forever; His faithfulness continues to all generations.

1 comment:

Jen said...

Life and the good LORD protecting it. How He shows Himself in wonderful and amazing ways. It is good to belong to such a God.